Enough with Facebook and Twitter. I admit that I use them; they’re good business billboards. But people, I just don’t care if you got a tatt, or how proud you are that your kid won the spelling bee, or even if your kid got a tatt. I really don’t. Let’s face it: Social media are quickly becoming passe, sort of like anything “green” or “organic.”
The time has come for anti-social media. It’s time for ” Hellbook.”
This is where we can go when we want to tell others where to go. It’s the best hope for the misanthrope. Kinda brings tears to you eyes, doesn’t it? That’s the idea.
This is where we fend off all the irritating people in our lives. Here, we can “Fend” everyone we simply want to leave us alone and place them on our very own Diss List. There are so many possibilities.
Maybe we could have a special place in Hellbook for the sadists who bombard us with robocalls and distorted campaign ads that play at much higher volume than the TV program we’re trying to watch. How about a secret section for this country’s shady oligarchs, who brought down the economy and are now making huge campaign contributions so they can buy more of the government?
They would rate a special place that would really light up with each disclosure about how these very same culprits faked the documents needed to throw unfortunate homeowners and their families out on the street. Maybe we can include these supreme scoundrels’ names and addresses, with maps to their gated communities.
We could send messages that would be far shorter than Twitter’s 140 characters. Rahm Emmanuel would have a field day. Of course, he also might be on quite a few of the lists. So would all the pipsqueak political demagogues on both sides of the fence, the ones that pollute the waters with their simple-minded fearmongering and bigotry. Without a doubt, politicians would be among the most popular of the unpopular.
Special dishonors could go to the officeholders and wannabes who have staffers ghostwrite posts on Facebook and Twitter in an effort to look hip and trendy.
How dumb is that? It defies logic. If they were hip and trendy they wouldn’t be politicians, now would they?
That site could be divided in half. On the right, imagine all the Fends a Sarah Palin (she would call them “Haters”–accurately), Newt Gingrich or Glenn Beck would have. I’d probably want to stay away from Christine O’Donnell, though. (Do we really know for sure that she only dabbled in witchcraft?)
Keith Olbermann would be way high on the left, no doubt about it. Personally, my site would be crammed with those from fringe to slimy fringe. It would be a dumping ground for those who come up with relentless, cheap shot political arguments: The author of “Do you want a bureaucrat between you and your doctor” would get high dishonors. Same for the one responsible for “Change you can believe in.” The beauty of this is that those who simply get on our nerves would have a place on this hit parade.
I’ve given a lot of thought to this. The racists, homophobes, and the GOP candidate for New York Governor would not be welcome as members. Nor would those religious intolerants that babble inanities about Sharia law in the United States and other spittle. They can only be targets, not members. This was a genuinely tough decision, because there’s a huge amount of money to be made from Tea Party members alone.
Obviously, there would need to be an App, which means someone will have to come up with a graphic. I can think of one—but this should probably be a family site. Imagine how much fun you and the children can have as you teach them the pure joy of trashing other people. Come to think of it, with what goes on in their schools, maybe they could teach us a thing or two.
For those who suffer from self doubt, you could list yourself to put down along with those Fends who should lack self esteem.
The idea would spread like wildfire. In fact, “May You Burn in Hellbook” could be the slogan. Wouldn’t this make a wonderful movie? We could call it The Hate Locker. Actually, scratch that. A movie about a website is an absurd idea.
Even so, the time is definitely right for Hellbook. It would be a natural winner—a loser’s winner. After all, everybody would be a villain.
Finally, a website that reflects real life. If you like the idea, let me know. Just send me a response, two words or more. You can reach me at Facebook or Twitter.
(Bob Franken is a syndicated columnist for King Features and Hearst. Formerly with CNN he now appears on several networks)
Follow us on Twitter.
Sign up for Mediaite’s daily newsletter.
Don’t be scared — it’s just time to make the single best decision you’ll make today and cast your vote for the Obamateurism of the Week! Unlike with the Democratic agenda, the only way you’ll get the blame is if you choose to stay on the sidelines. If you do, we won’t provide any cover for you, especially if you’ve made a habit of it.
Previous 2010 “winners”:
- He realized too late that “there’s no such thing as shovel-ready projects” when it comes to public works
- Cuts off microphone when questioner starts debating tax policies
- “I can’t let this be a war without end, and I can’t lose the whole Democratic Party.”
- Obama quotes Declaration, leaves out “endowed by their Creator”
- Obama trots out “feel your pain” attempt the day after WH releases his social calendar
- “They talk about me like a dog!”
- Obama takes credit for drawdown schedule Bush negotiated
- “We’re buying shrimp, guys.”
- Obama endorses Ground Zero mosque, then says he wasn’t “commenting on the wisdom” of building it at the site
- Slams GOP for focusing on elections — from a fundraiser in Austin, TX
- Obama scolds politicians with “We shouldn’t be campaigning all the time” … while on The View
- Obama says First Couple “not far removed” from economic pain in financial collapse despite making millions in 2008
- Obama expects to be held accountable on jobs, but it’s Bush’s fault
- New NASA mission objectives all about self-esteem, none about space
- Obama misquotes Statue of Liberty poem and screws up its history
- Obama golfs as BP’s CEO yachts
- Obama says Gulf disaster will have similar impact to 9/11, then goes golfing the next day
- “We talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers so I know whose ass to kick“
- “Singularly focused” Obama’s golfing, fundraising, vacation, and sports events
- “Obviously, the loss of Daniel Pearl was one of those moments that captured the world’s imaginationbecause it reminded us of how valuable a free press is.”
- Criticizes AZ immigration enforcement for paper checking while Secret Service checks immigration statusof students at Obama event
- “Information becomes a distraction” with X-boxes, PlayStations, iPods, iPads
- “I mean, I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money.”
- President who demands that Americans show health-insurance papers suddenly skittish about residency documents
- Playing golf instead of paying respects to the late Polish president
- “Whether we like it or not, we remain a dominant military superpower”
- Gives 17-minute answer to question about being overtaxed
- Believes Tea Party core is Birthers
- Obama refused to be seen with Netanyahu
- “Your employer, it’s estimated, would see premiums fall by as much as 3000%!”
- Obama off by $868 billion on CBO deficit savings projection of ObamaCare
- Obama challenges GOP on tort reform, winds up proving GOP point on reconciliation
- Obama’s “Acme Insurance” anecdote proves he doesn’t understand insurance
- Obama claims 2 million jobs saved or created, website shows 590K
- Obama gripes about filibusters in a year with none … after having 60 seats in the Senate
- Obama says “corpse-man” for corpsman 3 times at Nat’l Prayer Breakfast
- Scolding the Supreme Court over ruling that he got completely wrong during SOTU
- People are unhappy with Obama’s performance because he didn’t get enough public face time to explain himself
- Suddenly jobs saved or created “never expected to be the public accounting of Obama’s goal to save or create 3.5 million jobs”
- Obama rushes home for minor injury to family friend, keeps golfing after EunuchBomber attack
Got an Obamateurism of the Day? If you see a foul-up by Barack Obama, e-mail it to me at obamaisms@edmorrissey.com with the quote and the link to the Obamateurism. I’ll post the best Obamateurisms on a daily basis, depending on how many I receive. Include a link to your blog, and I’ll give some link love as well. And unlike Slate, I promise to end the feature when Barack Obama leaves office.
Illustrations by Chris Muir of Day by Day. Be sure to read the adventures of Sam, Zed, Damon, and Jan every day!
<b>News</b> Article “ « Climate Science: Roger Pielke Sr.
October 26, 2010...2:01 pm. News Article “. There was a news article today in the Boulder Camera by Laura Snider titled. Boulder scientists: Space tourism could contribute to climate change. The article includes the text ...
Small Business <b>News</b>: Social Media Secrets
Pssst. We've got something important to tell you about a new tool that can totally transform your business. In terms of upfront investment, there is no cost,
Exclusive: Yahoo Courts Former <b>News</b> Corp. Digital Exec Ross <b>...</b>
He's baaaaaack. Former Fox Interactive Media President Ross Levinsohn, that is, who is the top candidate to replace Hilary Schneider as Yahoo's US head, according to several sources close to the situation.
bench craft company complaints
bench craft company complaints
<b>News</b> Article “ « Climate Science: Roger Pielke Sr.
October 26, 2010...2:01 pm. News Article “. There was a news article today in the Boulder Camera by Laura Snider titled. Boulder scientists: Space tourism could contribute to climate change. The article includes the text ...
Small Business <b>News</b>: Social Media Secrets
Pssst. We've got something important to tell you about a new tool that can totally transform your business. In terms of upfront investment, there is no cost,
Exclusive: Yahoo Courts Former <b>News</b> Corp. Digital Exec Ross <b>...</b>
He's baaaaaack. Former Fox Interactive Media President Ross Levinsohn, that is, who is the top candidate to replace Hilary Schneider as Yahoo's US head, according to several sources close to the situation.
bench craft company complaints bench craft company complaints
Enough with Facebook and Twitter. I admit that I use them; they’re good business billboards. But people, I just don’t care if you got a tatt, or how proud you are that your kid won the spelling bee, or even if your kid got a tatt. I really don’t. Let’s face it: Social media are quickly becoming passe, sort of like anything “green” or “organic.”
The time has come for anti-social media. It’s time for ” Hellbook.”
This is where we can go when we want to tell others where to go. It’s the best hope for the misanthrope. Kinda brings tears to you eyes, doesn’t it? That’s the idea.
This is where we fend off all the irritating people in our lives. Here, we can “Fend” everyone we simply want to leave us alone and place them on our very own Diss List. There are so many possibilities.
Maybe we could have a special place in Hellbook for the sadists who bombard us with robocalls and distorted campaign ads that play at much higher volume than the TV program we’re trying to watch. How about a secret section for this country’s shady oligarchs, who brought down the economy and are now making huge campaign contributions so they can buy more of the government?
They would rate a special place that would really light up with each disclosure about how these very same culprits faked the documents needed to throw unfortunate homeowners and their families out on the street. Maybe we can include these supreme scoundrels’ names and addresses, with maps to their gated communities.
We could send messages that would be far shorter than Twitter’s 140 characters. Rahm Emmanuel would have a field day. Of course, he also might be on quite a few of the lists. So would all the pipsqueak political demagogues on both sides of the fence, the ones that pollute the waters with their simple-minded fearmongering and bigotry. Without a doubt, politicians would be among the most popular of the unpopular.
Special dishonors could go to the officeholders and wannabes who have staffers ghostwrite posts on Facebook and Twitter in an effort to look hip and trendy.
How dumb is that? It defies logic. If they were hip and trendy they wouldn’t be politicians, now would they?
That site could be divided in half. On the right, imagine all the Fends a Sarah Palin (she would call them “Haters”–accurately), Newt Gingrich or Glenn Beck would have. I’d probably want to stay away from Christine O’Donnell, though. (Do we really know for sure that she only dabbled in witchcraft?)
Keith Olbermann would be way high on the left, no doubt about it. Personally, my site would be crammed with those from fringe to slimy fringe. It would be a dumping ground for those who come up with relentless, cheap shot political arguments: The author of “Do you want a bureaucrat between you and your doctor” would get high dishonors. Same for the one responsible for “Change you can believe in.” The beauty of this is that those who simply get on our nerves would have a place on this hit parade.
I’ve given a lot of thought to this. The racists, homophobes, and the GOP candidate for New York Governor would not be welcome as members. Nor would those religious intolerants that babble inanities about Sharia law in the United States and other spittle. They can only be targets, not members. This was a genuinely tough decision, because there’s a huge amount of money to be made from Tea Party members alone.
Obviously, there would need to be an App, which means someone will have to come up with a graphic. I can think of one—but this should probably be a family site. Imagine how much fun you and the children can have as you teach them the pure joy of trashing other people. Come to think of it, with what goes on in their schools, maybe they could teach us a thing or two.
For those who suffer from self doubt, you could list yourself to put down along with those Fends who should lack self esteem.
The idea would spread like wildfire. In fact, “May You Burn in Hellbook” could be the slogan. Wouldn’t this make a wonderful movie? We could call it The Hate Locker. Actually, scratch that. A movie about a website is an absurd idea.
Even so, the time is definitely right for Hellbook. It would be a natural winner—a loser’s winner. After all, everybody would be a villain.
Finally, a website that reflects real life. If you like the idea, let me know. Just send me a response, two words or more. You can reach me at Facebook or Twitter.
(Bob Franken is a syndicated columnist for King Features and Hearst. Formerly with CNN he now appears on several networks)
Follow us on Twitter.
Sign up for Mediaite’s daily newsletter.
Don’t be scared — it’s just time to make the single best decision you’ll make today and cast your vote for the Obamateurism of the Week! Unlike with the Democratic agenda, the only way you’ll get the blame is if you choose to stay on the sidelines. If you do, we won’t provide any cover for you, especially if you’ve made a habit of it.
Previous 2010 “winners”:
- He realized too late that “there’s no such thing as shovel-ready projects” when it comes to public works
- Cuts off microphone when questioner starts debating tax policies
- “I can’t let this be a war without end, and I can’t lose the whole Democratic Party.”
- Obama quotes Declaration, leaves out “endowed by their Creator”
- Obama trots out “feel your pain” attempt the day after WH releases his social calendar
- “They talk about me like a dog!”
- Obama takes credit for drawdown schedule Bush negotiated
- “We’re buying shrimp, guys.”
- Obama endorses Ground Zero mosque, then says he wasn’t “commenting on the wisdom” of building it at the site
- Slams GOP for focusing on elections — from a fundraiser in Austin, TX
- Obama scolds politicians with “We shouldn’t be campaigning all the time” … while on The View
- Obama says First Couple “not far removed” from economic pain in financial collapse despite making millions in 2008
- Obama expects to be held accountable on jobs, but it’s Bush’s fault
- New NASA mission objectives all about self-esteem, none about space
- Obama misquotes Statue of Liberty poem and screws up its history
- Obama golfs as BP’s CEO yachts
- Obama says Gulf disaster will have similar impact to 9/11, then goes golfing the next day
- “We talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers so I know whose ass to kick“
- “Singularly focused” Obama’s golfing, fundraising, vacation, and sports events
- “Obviously, the loss of Daniel Pearl was one of those moments that captured the world’s imaginationbecause it reminded us of how valuable a free press is.”
- Criticizes AZ immigration enforcement for paper checking while Secret Service checks immigration statusof students at Obama event
- “Information becomes a distraction” with X-boxes, PlayStations, iPods, iPads
- “I mean, I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money.”
- President who demands that Americans show health-insurance papers suddenly skittish about residency documents
- Playing golf instead of paying respects to the late Polish president
- “Whether we like it or not, we remain a dominant military superpower”
- Gives 17-minute answer to question about being overtaxed
- Believes Tea Party core is Birthers
- Obama refused to be seen with Netanyahu
- “Your employer, it’s estimated, would see premiums fall by as much as 3000%!”
- Obama off by $868 billion on CBO deficit savings projection of ObamaCare
- Obama challenges GOP on tort reform, winds up proving GOP point on reconciliation
- Obama’s “Acme Insurance” anecdote proves he doesn’t understand insurance
- Obama claims 2 million jobs saved or created, website shows 590K
- Obama gripes about filibusters in a year with none … after having 60 seats in the Senate
- Obama says “corpse-man” for corpsman 3 times at Nat’l Prayer Breakfast
- Scolding the Supreme Court over ruling that he got completely wrong during SOTU
- People are unhappy with Obama’s performance because he didn’t get enough public face time to explain himself
- Suddenly jobs saved or created “never expected to be the public accounting of Obama’s goal to save or create 3.5 million jobs”
- Obama rushes home for minor injury to family friend, keeps golfing after EunuchBomber attack
Got an Obamateurism of the Day? If you see a foul-up by Barack Obama, e-mail it to me at obamaisms@edmorrissey.com with the quote and the link to the Obamateurism. I’ll post the best Obamateurisms on a daily basis, depending on how many I receive. Include a link to your blog, and I’ll give some link love as well. And unlike Slate, I promise to end the feature when Barack Obama leaves office.
Illustrations by Chris Muir of Day by Day. Be sure to read the adventures of Sam, Zed, Damon, and Jan every day!
bench craft company complaints
<b>News</b> Article “ « Climate Science: Roger Pielke Sr.
October 26, 2010...2:01 pm. News Article “. There was a news article today in the Boulder Camera by Laura Snider titled. Boulder scientists: Space tourism could contribute to climate change. The article includes the text ...
Small Business <b>News</b>: Social Media Secrets
Pssst. We've got something important to tell you about a new tool that can totally transform your business. In terms of upfront investment, there is no cost,
Exclusive: Yahoo Courts Former <b>News</b> Corp. Digital Exec Ross <b>...</b>
He's baaaaaack. Former Fox Interactive Media President Ross Levinsohn, that is, who is the top candidate to replace Hilary Schneider as Yahoo's US head, according to several sources close to the situation.
bench craft company complaints bench craft company complaints
<b>News</b> Article “ « Climate Science: Roger Pielke Sr.
October 26, 2010...2:01 pm. News Article “. There was a news article today in the Boulder Camera by Laura Snider titled. Boulder scientists: Space tourism could contribute to climate change. The article includes the text ...
Small Business <b>News</b>: Social Media Secrets
Pssst. We've got something important to tell you about a new tool that can totally transform your business. In terms of upfront investment, there is no cost,
Exclusive: Yahoo Courts Former <b>News</b> Corp. Digital Exec Ross <b>...</b>
He's baaaaaack. Former Fox Interactive Media President Ross Levinsohn, that is, who is the top candidate to replace Hilary Schneider as Yahoo's US head, according to several sources close to the situation.
bench craft company complaints bench craft company complaints
<b>News</b> Article “ « Climate Science: Roger Pielke Sr.
October 26, 2010...2:01 pm. News Article “. There was a news article today in the Boulder Camera by Laura Snider titled. Boulder scientists: Space tourism could contribute to climate change. The article includes the text ...
Small Business <b>News</b>: Social Media Secrets
Pssst. We've got something important to tell you about a new tool that can totally transform your business. In terms of upfront investment, there is no cost,
Exclusive: Yahoo Courts Former <b>News</b> Corp. Digital Exec Ross <b>...</b>
He's baaaaaack. Former Fox Interactive Media President Ross Levinsohn, that is, who is the top candidate to replace Hilary Schneider as Yahoo's US head, according to several sources close to the situation.
bench craft company complaints bench craft company complaints
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